I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
