I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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