that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
