If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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