Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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