Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
