Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
