just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
