When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
