it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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