the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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