next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
