The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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