So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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