She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
