Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
