If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
