i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
