told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
