WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
