can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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