Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
