I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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