Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
