It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
