I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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