i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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