i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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