well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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