In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
