We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
