Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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