Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
