Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
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it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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