Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
