After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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