There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
