the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
