Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
