worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
