She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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