So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
