there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
