one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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