Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
