Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You made out with two different species that night
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
