She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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