if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
