i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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