this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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