Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
