Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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