before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
