so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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