so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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