But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i was born a porn star she said
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
