If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize