There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
