you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
