you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
