she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
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Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
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he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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