You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
