And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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