Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
