32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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