You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
