she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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