DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
