I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
