Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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