so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
